Most hilarious and idiot blog i read lately ...


Shootin' coons in my underwear ...

I've been staying up way too late recently and just end up dragging my but up to bed. We live in a fairly rural area so I have started keeping chickens as of late. I haven't had time to build a proper chicken coop, so they just live in a fenced in area in my garage.

I let them out when I leave for work and then when I get home, open up the back door to let them in. Usually, they will come in for a snack and go back outside until sundown. Before I go to bed, I'll shut the back door for the night.

Well, last night the baby went to bed early. We , umm ... made good use of the situation and before we knew it it was 11:00 and we were exhausted and basically went upstairs and fell into bed.

Fast forward to 4 am ... K sits up in bed and asks if I let the chickens in. It wouldn't have been too bad if they were just locked out ( they would have just found someplace to roost ), but I just left everything wide open. So I get up and go down to see the damage ...

I don't bother putting jeans on or anything, and just head to the garage. I turn on the lights and there are two racons starting at me from the bags of feed by the back door. I run inside, grab my .22, put it together quick ( I keep it secured, but handy for this very purpose ), and run back out to the garage.

One of the coons has waddled off ( very full belly ), and the other is on top of some stuff and I can't get a safe shot at him. I yell at the thing ( get! shoo! ). It just looks at me blankly. I pitch a water jug at it and it starts to let itself down. I get a clear shot and pull the trigger - nothing - safety's on ... take the safety off and fire ... so now I have an racoon that's growling at me in my underwear ( I'm in the underwear, not the racoon ) ... it waddles away from the garage. I follow and drop him with two more shots through the heart.

My chickens have scattered ( good for them - they're smarter than they look ) and are nowhere to be found. I'm sure one is injured - there were 1 or 2 handfuls of feathers and blood ( racoon blood? I don't know just yet ). K will probably take it to the butcher to just kill it if it's more than ruffled feathers.

I'm actually surprised that ( other than the safety ) I was pretty calm and collected. I'm not a hunter and have killed maybe 3 animals ( purposefully ) in my life - all vermin. I didn't have time to bury the dead coon, so I put it in the street to look like road kill - I couldn't think of anything better - pretty lame. I just need to remember to put the chickens away "

" Wild Night, Baby ... (Diaries)

the rest of stories from Porco Rosso's Diary you can read on:www.kuro5hin.org